i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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