he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
