I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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