My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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