Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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