Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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