we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
