He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
