We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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