I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
