So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
