ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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