my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Brb crying the tears of my youth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
