i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
