6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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