Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
