i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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