Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
