I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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