I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
