I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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