yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
