Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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