What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
