Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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