There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
