the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
