I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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