am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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