if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
