i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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