We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
