May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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