I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do herpes really smell.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
