i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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