I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
