Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
