The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
