I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i out mim tonsoeep
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
