Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
