very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
