when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I see more hoeing in ur future
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