i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
