Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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