I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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