It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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