Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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