Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
