Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
