so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
